my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
