Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
false alarm, still single
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
