But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
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