Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
