im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
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