my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
You are a genius and a whore.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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