if you like me you must not know who I am
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
