That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Define "chronic" masturbator.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
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