I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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