pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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