thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
