The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
