No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Randomize
