Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
