would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
