I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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