first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
