He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
In other news, I just burned my penis
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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