y did u give ur computer a hand job?
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Randomize
