Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
it's great music for shaving your balls
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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