atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
