id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
