I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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