"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
