C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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