ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
