She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
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