This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize