I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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