a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
