Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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