Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
