If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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