If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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