franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
we're making bets on your personal life
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
