Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
