i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize