Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
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