I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
