11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
