They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
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