A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Never let your siblings swipe right.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Randomize
