your room smells of hookers.
And success
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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