My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Randomize
