Someone shit on the floor
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Randomize
