There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
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