it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
