I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Randomize