Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
