My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
