He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
