Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
