matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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