When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
