we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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