she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
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