I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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