Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
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