just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
