You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
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