i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
