Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
