remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
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