Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
