I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
