I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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