She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
