I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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