If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
