i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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