forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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