If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
