i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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