I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
