I'm having a debate with **** over whether or not he is gay... what's your verdict?
GAY or at the very least bisexual.
His "joking around" with all of his roommates is clearly as act. He needs to step back and reevaluate his sexual orientation.
Weird... you've rode him.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
Randomize
