I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
