I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
