he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Can I color on your dick again?
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I think people are normalizing furries
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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