i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
