She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
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